Thursday and Friday

Sorry about not updating yesterday. Partly, that's because I have wonky internet, and partly it's because Vindya is getting better. Ironically, now that she's more settled in and comfortable, she's a little whirlwind. She is funny, and thinks everything is fun and interesting, and cannot keep her hands to herself. In a lot of ways, she reminds me of LiJun at this stage - she was going non-stop, grabbing everything, gorging herself on whatever she could find to eat, and determined to hoard shoes and hair ornaments. Vindya is happy with shoes, and wants bangles rather than hair stuff (she's currently wearing 42!), but otherwise it's the same. I think it has to do with coming from a very sterile environment to one that is filled with stimuli, and also the adrenaline from stress. LiJun has never really slowed down, but I'm hoping that Vindya will. Two little whirlwinds would be too much!

She can be naughty, which she also thinks is funny. For example, Thursday, while I was talking with Gaya about when we could meet, she grabbed my fingernail scissors and gave herself a haircut. She doesn't have a lot of hair, so it wasn't a lot, but there is a visible almost bald spot on one side. She cracks up every time she sees it in the mirror, and when telling others about it.

She only cried twice in the last couple of days. We went over to Shakir and Gaya's house again. (Actually, Gaya and Maya took us shopping - Maya is going back to college and needs new clothes and we tagged along, which was fun. Then we went to their place for dinner.) When dinner was over, Gaya told her that we would have ice cream, and then she and I would go home. She was visibly sad, but brave about it. She cried when we left, but subsided in the car to crooning. She managed to cry enough at the hotel to get chocolates out of the front desk staff, but was pretty much done by the time we got back to the room.

On Friday, she was looking at my iPad. (I love this gizmo, by the way. There are a few issues, but it's a great thing.) Meri had taken a nice picture of Vindya, LiJun and me, which I had set as my lock screen. She loves to look at it, and say "Sistah, Vindya, Mama." I have been happy with that, but yesterday she started crying and saying that she wants to go back. I finally figured out that she isn't as interested in the people as in the fact that it was taken at the sisuvihar. I gave myself a dopeslap, and replaced it with a photo of LiJun and The Evil Lilly. Again, her tears didn't last long.

I've also given up on nutrition. I'm giving her chocolate, cookies, juice and bananas all the time. She is getting a visible belly, but I figure that being sated probably helps calm her down, and we can work on straightening the rest out when we get home. I have this stuff set where she can reach it at all times, and we have avoided making this a control issue for her. (She does compulsively clean the room. While this is handy, and I hope she keeps it up the way LiJun has, it is a way for her to exert control over her world when everything has been swept out of control.)

I have been talking to an expat family, and while our plans to get together fell through, he did recommend an expat hangout. We went last night to Beyond Coffee for dinner. (Gaya and Shakir had a Rotary meeting, and we agreed that Vindya shouldn't see them every day. I need to be the stable constant in her life.) It's a really nice place, with a lot of expats and "hipster" Indians hanging out there. There is a nice garden with tables, as well as a rooftop patio and an inside eating area. We went up to the rooftop to see if we wanted to eat there, and while the view was great (and after dark it was very comfortable), the tables all had built-in hookahs, so I decided we should stay downstairs.

The menu advertises itself as "authentic American," which I have to say is odd to see. I also was amused that all of the "American style" burgers have chicken patties or veggie patties. This is, after all, the country that invented the sacred cow. The food and company were good (it's very child friendly, with games and some other kids), and we had a great time. (Note to Steve - I had pizza, so you're off the hook!) When we left, Vindya was perfectly happy and came with me without incident. When we came in, I pointed out to the front desk staff that she was happy, which amused them.

In the meantime, Deb (the India specialist) has been burning up the phone lines. She told them in no uncertain terms that it is not OK to make me stay here, because it has been very hard on Vindya. She is making arrangements for me to go to Chennai. There is a lady there who is very good, who has worked with CHSFS for years. She is also on the board of the YWCA and knows lots of people, and has said that I can stay there (either at the Y or in a flat) for significantly less than I am spending here. Chennai (used to be Madras) is also a Tamil speaking area, so Vindya will be more dependent on me. We will also not be going back to the adoption office repeatedly, which can only help. (I feel like I should go there every day and harass them in person, but Vindya recognizes the place, and every time we go there, she points at the drive to the sisuvihar and wants to go there, and is upset when we don't.) I think this will be a lot better.

Deb apparently got through to them, because the file was given to the director in record time. (She needs to sign a letter giving me permission to take Vindya to Chennai.) There was a question about needing Vindya's fingerprints for her passport application. Deb suggested that, when I pick up the letter, they can get Vindya's fingerprints and have them ready for when the application is filed. They also said that, if I don't go in person to apply for the passport, it may take several months. Deb faxed them a copy of the Supreme Court ruling that said that passports for adopted children must be issued within two weeks, which should take care of that.

This feels to me like progress. Deb and I wildly speculate that Mrs. S, whom Deb met in person and who was really on top of everything, had some kind of family emergency and left without making it clear to everyone else what they are supposed to be doing. This doesn't make it OK - I've been away from LiJun for way too long, and she needs me to come home ASAP. But I hope we're on the road to a solution.