Yesterday - A Step Forward

So, I went back to DWDCW at 3 o'clock, and went to the adoption section. They asked me to wait, so, I waited. I'm getting very good at this. After about half an hour, Mrs. N walked me over to the director's office and told me to have a seat in the waiting room. I did, and she left. I pulled out a copy of The Economist and started to read. Things were very slow. Whenever the director finished a meeting, she would push a button, and chimes would ring in the outer office. This played a rotating selection of songs, among them "White Christmas," "Westminster Chimes," and "Fur Elise." When this played, one of the clerks would jump up, run into the office, escort the visitor out, and then indicate who should go in next. For those of you wondering, no, it was not "first come, first served." (I'm guessing that a lot of the people who looked like they were jumping in line were actually colleagues doing actual work, and those of us who kept getting passed over were random people wanting her to do something, just based on overheard conversations, so I'm not upset about that part.)

I managed to finish the entire issue, and started getting ulcers. At the very end of the day, just before 5, I got called in. I have to say, I was a little annoyed that no one from the adoption section was there with me, I had to wing it all on my own. However, I went in and talked to her. The office was full of flowers, and we started with me congratulating her on her new job, then got down to business.

She had no idea who I was or why I was there, so I introduced myself, and explained that I was adopting. I asked if she had received my file, and she said it was possible, she had received a dozen or so that morning, but had not had time to look at them. I gave her a brief rundown, stressing that Vindya had been cleared by the adoption section, CARA had issued a No Objection Certificate, and the family court had approved the adoption. She inturrupted me to ask if I had been assigned the child through an organization that she couldn't remember the name of, and picked up the phone to call the outer office and verify that it was "Tender Loving Care." I honestly told her I had never heard of them, and I was assigned Vindya through the adoption section. She said that was good, as there were problems with the children from that organization. I explained that it is not good for Vindya to have to wait, and I can tell from visiting her that she is confused about what is going on. I asked if she would please sign the foster care license for me, so that I could take her with me now. She asked where I wanted to take her, and I said to my hotel. She was concerned that I would try to leave the country, but I told her that I needed to wait in Hyderabad for the court order to be issued, and she seemed pleased with that. She said that she would need to read the file, but it would be only another two or three days before she could do that. Monday or Tuesday.

Not really what I wanted to hear, but I took a deep breath and kept going. I also needed her to write letters requested an expedited court order and an expedited passport. She nodded and said, yes, of course, that is not a problem. I was very pleased with that, and we exchanged a few pleasantries, I got a copy of her business card, and left.

I went back to the adoption unit, and chatted a bit with Mrs. N and Mrs. A2. Mrs. N was filing, and Mrs. A2 was on the phone when I came in. Filing means that the manila files and all paperwork associated with a child are stacked together, tied with string, and then stacked on the shelves that line the room. They are all full to overflowing with these bundles, and even I don't know how they ever manage to find anything. After Mrs. A2 got off the phone, I told them what the director had said. They nodded about the foster care, and told me that the change in directors was sudden and unexpected, and they knew nothing about it until last week. This, frankly, might explain a lot. I also told them about the letters requesting expedited processing, and they nodded about that, as well. I couldn't tell if Mrs. S had passed on to them Deb's gentle reminder that this needs to speed up, and obviously, I didn't ask.

I left feeling very frustrated and low. Just as I got into the car to go down to the sisuvihar and visit Vindya, my phone rang. It was Deb, with perfect timing. She listened to my whole story, and said that this was very good. It was a step forward. She had said yes to the letters rather than "We'll see," or some such, and, in India, this is really fast movement. I did feel a lot better when I got off the phone.

I had a really good visit with Vindya. The caregiver stood over by the curtain, and while Vindya certainly knew she was there, she wasn't nearly as uptight. She smiled and laughed easily. We played with some little toys I brought. I don't know what they are called, they are brightly colored twisty-bendy sticks that you can make things with. She wasn't real big on that, but she promptly copied everything I did. When I did the "Finger finger" game on one hand, she gave me the other, and when I put my hands out, she did it to me. We also played again with the finger puppets. Again, she didn't really play with them, or seem to see them as little animals, she just copied what I did. There is a large fish tank in the room, so I took her over and showed her that one of the puppets is a little fish. That didn't click, and she didn't seem very interested in watching the fish, either.

Definitely the big hit was the jacks. She had a blast arranging them in rows, then rearranging the rows to go the other way. In that, as everything she did, she used both hands interchangeably, maybe the right a little more often. But the ball was the huge hit. I showed her how to bounce and catch it, and she tried, sending it all over the room and scrambling after it very happily. Eventually, she hit upon the method of using both hands instead of one, and was prepared to do that indefinitely.

I had another idea, so I asked the staff to bring me the book of family photos that I had sent previously. This caused some confusion, as originally they brought me the sticker book I gave her yesterday, but we straightened it out, and they brought it. I couldn't tell that she had ever seen it before, but she was delighted with it. We went through all the pictures, naming everyone. She went through them again and again, eventually getting everything except the names of the cousins down. (Almost. At one point I said "Yes!" very enthusiastically, so now Samantha is "Yesh," but close enough.) The dogs caused another pause. We had attracted quite a crowd of adults doing this, and I asked how to say dogs. "Puppy-a." She just would look at their pictures and keep going.

When it was time to go, she very eagerly packed all the toys back up in the zippered carrying pouch I was using. The adults encouraged her to give me a hug, which she did very awkwardly, but still smiling. I kissed her goodbye by kissing my fingers and touching her cheek, and they encouraged her to return the kiss. She very cheerfully touched my cheek and then kissed her fingers, and waved bye-bye as I left.

This visit left me feeling much better about her state than I had been, but again thinking that her behavior is way younger than 7. She is a very determined mimic, and she likes to be praised. Her voice is deep and a little hoarse, not unlike LiJun's, actually.

So, not at all where I wanted/hoped to be at the end of the day, but a good step forward.